What is anger?
Anger is a strong feeling.
People get angry for different reasons.
You may get angry when:
- A person hurts your feelings
- A person does something to you that you do not like
- You remember something bad that happened in the past
Everyone gets angry.
Everyone gets angry sometimes.
It is important to get over being angry.
Some people get angry a lot…and they don’t get over it.
That can be a problem! Being angry can:
- Make you feel bad, and
- Make other people not want to be around you.
What happens inside your body when you are angry?
Your heart beats faster.
You breathe faster.
You may feel hot and start to sweat.
Your muscles may get tight. That can hurt!
What do people do when they are angry?
- Yell and scream
- Say things to hurt others
- Hit or break things
- Hit themselves or others
- Just hold it all in and do nothing
Getting really angry can make you feel bad.
Getting angry all the time can make you sick with:
- Heart problems
- Back problems
- Stomach problems
- Sleep problems
You may be getting angry too much of the time, if:
- People do not want to be your friend
- You lost your job
- People do not want to be around you
- People are afraid of you
- Getting angry and feeling bad takes up a lot of your day
If you get really angry or get angry a lot:
Make a plan to slow down your anger
Try to figure out why you get so angry
If you are angry at someone, talk about it with them when you’re not angry
Talk to a counselor or a therapist
Make a plan and stick to it!
Some people use a plan every time they start to get angry.
A plan could include:
- Breathing slowly: Count to 7 when you breathe in and count to 11 when you breathe out
- Taking a walk
- Thinking about something you like
Every time you start to get angry:
- Think about a place you like to visit where you are happy
- Close your eyes and go there in your mind
- Count to ten before saying anything
When you get angry, try to figure out why by asking:
What were you doing just before you got angry?
What made you angry?
- Did someone say something that made you angry?
- Did someone do something that made you angry?
Did getting angry make you think about something from the past?
Try talking about it.
If someone makes you angry:
- Use a plan to slow down the anger
- When you are not angry, talk about it with the person
- Don’t blame the other person
- Just tell them why you are angry
You choose to be angry.
No one makes you angry.
So, it is better to say ‘I feel angry’ and not to say ‘You make me angry.’
- It’s better to say:
- ‘I feel upset when you use bad language’ or
- ‘I feel angry when you call me names.’
- It’s better not to say:
- ‘You make me upset when you use bad language’ or
- ‘You make me mad when you call me names.’
Is it time to see a counselor?
See a counselor or a therapist if you:
- Get really angry a lot
- Can’t figure out why you get angry
- Can’t follow a plan to slow down your anger
- Are losing your friends
Learn more about counselors on the DDS SafetyNet.
If you need a counselor:
There are counselors and therapists who know a lot about anger
‘Anger Management’ is when a counselor helps you control or get over your anger
If you talk to a counselor, tell her or him that you have problems with anger that you want to work on
Dial 2-1-1: Get Connected. Get Answers.
- Ask about local anger control support groups.
- Ask about counselors or therapists who know about anger management.
Ask Your Regional Center Service Coordinator about local support groups.
How Can I Deal with My Anger? (For Teenagers)
Last updated on June 21st, 2010