Having a Conversation about Abuse and Neglect

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Tip Sheet – “It’s Not Okay” Video Companion

Having A Conversation About Abuse and Neglect

It’s Not Okay is a video about abuse and neglect. This article goes along with the video to help you start a conversation with the person you support. It is a good idea for you to read the supporter article, Abuse and Neglect: It’s Not Okay!  before watching the video. 

When you are ready, watch the video with the person you support. When you see the STOP sign (the red circle with a hand in the middle), pause the video and talk about what you have just seen. When you are done, start the video again. Pause when you see the next STOP sign and talk again. Repeat until you have finished the video.

Here are some questions with possible answers to help you get started. Remember, these are only suggested questions. You may have better ones. You may not want to do this all at once. You might ask a couple of questions and then agree to come back together to continue at another time. Let’s get started.

 

 

Question: What if someone hits or slaps you, kicks or shakes you?  Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: Are there other things that a person could do that would hurt you?

Answer: If someone shook, shoved, choked, or burned me. If someone tied me up or put me in a room by myself. If someone gave me medicine to keep me quiet.

Question: Are any of them Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay to do any of these things.

Question: What if someone wants to touch you in places you don’t want them to? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

 

Question: What if someone wants you to touch their body in places you don’t want to? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: What other things could someone do that would make you feel uncomfortable?

Answer: If someone tried to make me do anything sexual against my will, took or showed me nude photos, made me look at magazines with nude men or women, talked about sex all the time, it would make me feel uncomfortable.

Question: Are any of them Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay to do any of these things.

 

Question: What if someone calls you names, yells at you, or threatens you? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: How would that make you feel?

Answer: I wouldn’t like that. It would make me feel sad, depressed, angry, frustrated, powerless.

 

Question: What if someone who is supposed to help you stay healthy and safe does not help you? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: Let’s look at the picture on the video. What do you see that is Not Okay?

Answer: Dishes dirty, no food in the refrigerator, person is alone and looks worried – maybe even sick, dress is torn, shade is broken, water is spilled.

Question: What else might a person need help with to stay healthy and safe?

Answer: A person might need help getting medical care or taking medications. A person might need help with their wheelchair or other aids.

 

Question: What if someone takes your money? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: What if someone makes you pay for things that you did not buy? Is that Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

Question: What other things might someone do to cheat you?

Answer: Someone might steal credit cards – and use them. Someone might give me bad advice about what to do with my money – on purpose. Someone might try to get me to spend all my money on them.

Question: Are any of them Okay?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay

 

Question: Is it Okay if someone hurts you or makes you feel bad on purpose?

Answer: No, It’s Not Okay. It is Wrong.

 

 

Be Aware - Take Care

At the end of the video, ask the person how they can stay safe.

Question: So if any of these things happen to you, what can you do to make it STOP?

Answer: Get Help. Don’t Wait. Make sure I do something to make it STOP.

Question: Who can you talk to help make it STOP?

Answer: I can talk to someone I trust. I could tell someone at the Regional Center.

Question: What should you do if you feel in danger and need help right away to feel safe?

Answer: If I feel in danger and need help right away to feel safe - Call 911

Question: What is the most important thing you learned watching the video?

Answer: I won’t ever let anyone hurt me or treat me badly.  It’s Not Okay.